This is what's on my mind lately. From the time I wake up to the time I go to sleep, it's always in the back of my mind. Adelyn has a shunt. We know that they have very high rates of malfunctioning but since her first surgery at 5 days old, it's seemed like everything has been perfect. I guess i'm definitely learning that nothing is what it seems. I actually get very high anxiety anytime we are going to a dr appt, bc I'm constantly waiting for another ball to drop on me. We go from time to time for routine MRI's and to see her neurosurgeon. Thankfully, they haven't had to sedate her yet for an MRI, they just hold her still and do a rapid sequence MRI which is good enough to look at her brain and the fluid. May 20th, we went for one of these routine visits, and it turned into anything but routine. Compared to her last scan, the fluid around her brain has increased. It wasn't a drastic increase or he said he would of taken her into surgery right then, but it was definitely an increase. Adelyn isn't showing any signs of a malfunction. She's still herself, happy, playful, smart little self. I'm trying to think positive and that maybe it was just a fluke, but at the same time I dont' want to convince myself that to the point that come August 13th, I'm completely blindsided as they take her into surgery. August 13th is the date that I'm "counting" down to. There are 4 weeks, and 5 days until we take Adelyn back to Med City Children's where they will do a sedated MRI and a shunt tap. The Shunt Tap is where they stick a needle down into the base of her shunt to determine the pressure. I guess some people with hydrocephalus have naturally larger ventricles but if the pressure isn't too high, then they can function like that. If the pressure is too high, then it could start causing brain problems. So these tests are at 8am and then we have to wait 4 long hours to see her surgeon to see what the results are. He informed us on May 20th, that if these tests show that her shunt is indeed malfunctioning, he will take her into surgery that afternoon. I don't like the unknown, especially if that unknown is whether or not my daughter will be having another major brain surgery. It sucks. It consumes my thoughts. I feel like i'm never going to be able to relax and know that everything is truly OK. She's great, people tell me all the time how perfect she is, I agree...but I just can't relax. So all I can do is pray. Pray that she is fine, or that she will be fine, and that this is just another minor bump in her path. There is a saying that I saw when she was little and it fits her so far. She has a determined spirit and won't let anything hold her back. But the saying is "though she be but little, she is fierce." It says it's a Shakespeare quote. I think it fits perfectly. So if you can continue to keep my sweet girl in  your prayers, I'd appreciate it. And  if you have extra time, pray for my sanity and patience. This has been a hard thing for me to roll with...as you can see...everyday I look at the countdown. I'm ready to get passed it and have something else consume my thoughts :)