My two loves

The entire time I was pregnant, I was worried about how well Garrison would adjust to a new baby and the shared attention. After having Adelyn, it proved to be a useless worry because he was a natural in his new role of "big brother." With Addy's surgery and subsequent NICU stay, the way I had envisioned the two of them meeting didn't happen. I wasn't able to put them in the matching big bro/lil sis shirts I had bought and take pictures at the hospital. All that didn't matter anymore anyway. Garrison didn't get to meet his sister until she was 8 days old and we brought her home from Children's. He immediately fell in love with his sister and has been a sort of protector for her ever since. I sat in the middle of the two of them on the way home from the hospital and Garrison remarked that she "was a wittle punkin!" and when she fussed he would say the baby needs milk. He has impressed me from day one and it melts my heart to see the two of them together. He loves to lay by her and hold her hand. The way he is with her is a reflection of his gigantic heart. My sweet boy makes me one proud mama.

 Here is a picture of my babies napping together.

 I find the two of them like this often. You can see Garrison holding her hand and they are as content as can be.

 My babies ready for Adelyn's first visit to The Heights Baptist.

 This is my favorite picture. This is the day we brought Addy home from the hospital. Garrison's face shows it all. You can just tell that he is in awe of his little sister. I hope they always stay best buds.

 Garrison's first time holding his sister. My babies are so precious!!

Christmas 2011

Christmas 2011. Garrison is 3 1/2 and Adelyn is 4 months old.

Addy turned 4 months on Christmas day. I seriously don't know where the last 4 months went, it seems like just yesterday she was born. This year Garrison was really excited about santa. Every toy commercial he saw on tv he would run and come get me and say he wanted whatever it was. The biggest thing that he wanted were racetracks so Santa listened and he got two really big racetracks. I guess Santa thought he was good bc in my mind, this was definitely up for debate! Terrible two's don't exist, he was perfect but once he turned 3 he was like a whole new child. Parenting a three year old has definitely been entertaining but I wouldn't trade my two babies for the world.

My mom is still in the skilled rehab trying to gain her strength and mobility back and Garrison and I attended their Christmas party and dinner. We had a nice time and I'm sure my mom was excited to have us all there. This is a picture of Garrison posing in their sleigh, by the tree.

 Amy always comes over around Christmas time and we make and decorate home made cookies. We did this on Christmas Eve so that Santa could have his cookies. Garrison really enjoyed it this year and loved putting flour all over himself. Here he is helping me make the cookie dough.

 He was so proud to take this picture. haha

 Another tradition that I've started (that I had growing up) was opening one gift on Christmas Eve. It's always pajamas so that you can wear them to bed and have Christmas PJ's on when santa arrives. I didn't really contemplate that a 3 year old may  not enjoy this tradition....Here are my babies posing with their Christmas eve gifts....(at this point still cute)....

 You can sort of see the disappointment on Garrison's face as he has opened his gift. This was our exact conversation:

 Garrison: "This is addy's gift (it wasn't). I don't want jamas, I didn't order this. (throws the gift aside and stands up.) Come on let's find my racetrack (walking to the tree and gifts) It will be the really big one."

sigh. He was not thrilled about pajamas and really disappointed! I'll be happy to let you know, I did take a brief moment and explain to him that Christmas is not just about gifts and that he needs to be grateful for everything that he receives. I think it sunk in (haha ya right!)

 I finally convinced him to put on his Christmas PJ's. Here are my sweet babies. Adelyn just wanted her bed

 Garrison posing with Santa at my mom's christmas party.

 Doesn't she look like a doll?!?!

I hope your Christmas was as blessed as ours was. 2011 was definitely a trying year, especially as a mom, but I am blessed. I love my family more than words and pray every single day that they grow old both happy and healthy. God Bless

Adelyn's Newborn Pictures

Isn't she the cutest thing?!?!?

Adelyn Nicole Bal

Adelyn Nicole Bal arrived at 8:04am on 8-25-11. She was 8 lbs even and 20 3/4 inches long. I had a c-section that morning bc the doctor's didn't want her going through the stress of labor. The delivery room was crowded with too many people, doctors, nurses, the NICU staff, etc. I remember the second she was born Adam's first word's were "oh baby, she's perfect." And she is. The anesthesiologist also said the same things, she's beautiful and just perfect. She was born with a head full of black hair and looks very much like her older brother. Her delivery was uncomplicated and I got to see her for a short amount of time before they took her to the NICU for observation. She spent most of her first day in the NICU but by that night, they were letting her stay in the room with us. I was lucky that I got to spend all day Friday with my girl and then Saturday morning, they transported her to Medical City Children's Hospital so she could get ready for her MRI and surgery. Luckily, my sister came and stayed with me, so that Adam could go with Addy. It was really hard on me to be at a different hospital than her even though I knew she was where she needed to be. The heaviest burden was put on Adam's shoulders. I think for this 24 hours he was worn out. We didn't want her on formula, so Adam had to make multiple trips a day to pick up breast milk from me and transport it to the NICU where Addy was at. I was released Sunday morning and we headed straight to see Addy in the NICU. It's hard to see your baby hooked up to machines and monitors when you just want to be home with her and adjusting to a normal routine. Monday, at 5 days old, was her surgery. The waiting after they took our sweet baby girl was brutal. We grabbed some lunch and sat in the waiting room with friends and family, to try and keep our minds busy. Nothing really worked, we just wanted an update that our baby girl was going to be ok. When the neurosurgeon finally came out he said the surgery was successful and that Adelyn had done great. He actually said "she is a rock." They expected her to have to be on a ventilator after surgery and she wasn't. She just soared through the surgery with flying colors. She amazes me. She was only in the NICU for another 3 days and then we were discharged home. Born on a Thursday, surgery on Monday, and sent home on a Thursday. It's amazing what they can do these days and we are beyond thankful for our perfect little girl.

This was right after her birth, the first time they let me hold her in the NICU. They wheeled my hospital bed into the NICU and I got to hold her out in the hall. They said she was the biggest baby in there :)) 

 All we are missing is Garrison! My sweet family

 This picture was after they let her come stay in the room with us. She was definitely more at peace when she was around me.

 This picture was taken right before they took her to Children's. She didn't even seem bothered by the IV they started in her hand.

 My favorite picture of all time!

 Getting settled in at Children's

 This was when I first got to hold her at children's after being away from her for over 24 hours. torture!

 Morning of her surgery, resting peacefully.

 Picture right after her surgery. We weren't allowed to hold her yet

 This picture melts my heart. Adam reading to Addy. Precious

 First time I got to hold her after surgery.

 Us right before they were going to come and get her ready for surgery. I didn't want to let her go

 This morning was great bc I showed up and all her wires/IV's were out!!

 Going home!!

Love!

I recently discovered a new thing at the grocery store, Greek yogurt parfaits. LOVE them and I'm pretty addicted. Now, if it would just magically make the baby weight come off, i'd be a pretty happy girl! :)

August 16, 2011

Worst. Day. Ever

I know for all of 2011, I've been a really really horrible blogger. So now I have so much to catch up on that I don't even know where to start. August 16, 2011 is a day that I wish I could erase. Seriously it's the worst day of my life. It started out as a great day. 37 weeks pregnant and heading into a sonogram to check on our baby girls status. I hadn't had a sonogram since early 20ish weeks because I was so healthy. I'm not sure if this is a blessing in disguise or a bad thing. So of course, I was excited. Excited actually doesn't even do it justice but you get what I mean. I was alone (big mistake!). We had recently sold our home (exciting, something I need to blog about later) and so Adam had to be at our rental to get our gas turned out. I could seriously write an entire book about this day and I think that is part of the reason that I've neglected this blog since Adelyn's birth. I don't know how much to share and have never dealt with that many emotions, that I don't know how much I should share blah blah blah. Anyway, back to August 16th. After the sonogram they told me Adelyn was measuring 8lbs, 9 oz with 3 weeks left. Dr. Monier brought me in to speak with me, and I expected him to say he wanted to induce me. Nope. I only could wish that was what he wanted to tell me. He informed me that they found what appeared to be two cysts on her brain and with that my little perfect world came to a screeching halt.  I believe my exact words to him were "I'm sorry, I don't think I understand what you are saying to me." I work in the medical field so I knew exactly what he was saying, but in that instance and relating to MY baby girl I just didn't understand. Dr. Monier said he didn't either but that he had a specialist that could see me right away at the hospital. I don't think i've ever cried so hard in my life. The  phrase I remember repeating over and over on this day was "I can't believe this is happening." Some how I managed to relay this message to Adam and he met me at the hospital. My parents and sister met us there as well.

The next dr that we met with was a high risk OB with level 2 sonograms. We were able to see her brain and skull with more detail. I didn't know what I was looking for but I did know that her skull should not be solid black. Black was fluid he said. Fluid that was putting pressure on her brain and making it almost impossible to even see on the sonogram. Not what any mom wants to see. One thing I can be thankful for is that he did not see any cysts or tumors of any type. His diagnosis was aqueductal stenosis that was causing her  hydrocephalus. Basically there's an aqueduct in your brain that drains the CSF, hers for some reason or another was closed so that the fluid could not drain. He told us he could not tell us much more than that. The diagnosis would have to be confirmed with an MRI after she was born. He also said we would need to contact a neurosurgeon and that he could make that referral for us. There are a lot of scary unknowns with hydrocephalus and the unknowns were the hardest thing for us to deal with. They couldn't tell us how her head would measure at birth, they couldn't tell us if she would have any developmental delays, they couldn't tell us how this happened,etc. It's been devastating news to say the least. Our world was shattered in the blink of an eye. I think from August 16th until she was born on August 25th, I cried for at least half the day. The first night I cried myself to sleep with Adam doing his best to console me.  I just couldn't get it in my head that this was really happening and I was so scared for her and for her future. Thankfully Adam and I have an amazing support system. We had friends bring us dinner and come over just to hang out with me on the nights Adam worked. I found if I just kept busy, I thought about it the least. I prayed alot. I've always been a pretty hard core prayer, but it increased about tenfold during this trial.

We got to meet with Dr. Swift, the neurosurgeon who would eventually operate on our sweet baby girl, the Monday before she was born. Seriously this man is sent from God. He sat down with us for about an hour and tried to answer all our questions and help ease our fears. Again, with this diagnosis, there are so many things they just can't tell until after she's born, but he was able to help us start to accept and move forward. I felt comfortable knowing he would be helping my baby. Talk about a blessing but Dr. Swift is actually one of the neurosurgeon's who operated on the Egyptian conjoined twins a couple years back. These Dr's are amazing and I"m thankful that they were able to get us in and meet with us and take on our case. Dallas has amazing medical teams. After Addy was born, she had an MRI, and Dr. Swift was able to review those and then decide what best approach to relieve the fluid. He decided a VP shunt was needed and the best choice for Adelyn. We trusted him and moved forward. Adelyn ended up having surgery 5 days after she was born. Talk about second worst day. I'd trade places with Adelyn in a heart beat if I could. I just want her healthy and happy.

I think I'm rambling...there is just so much that I could write, that I'll leave it at that for now. Her final diagnosis stayed Aqueductal Stenosis and Hydrocephalus. Her hearing was perfect. She came out perfect. And we love our sweet little girl. God has great things in store for her. She is amazing.

Reassurance in parenting

Obviously, at times, parenting can be really tough. So every once in a while it is really nice to get some sort of reassurance that you are doing a good job. Each night at bedtime Garrison gets to pick out two books that we read. After that he usually requests that I sing him a song or two or maybe even the same song 20 times. Obviously, it's because I have an awesome voice. Ha, seriously, I hope Adam doesn't listen in to these night time singing sessions. I'm horrible. Garrison's favorite bed time books are Dora and Max. He even has Max memorized. He likes to say the words before I say them and he's pretty much got it down. His favorite night time song is Jesus loves me. Which has been good because it lead to a bunch of questions. Where does Jesus live? Can Jesus come play tomorrow? Etc etc. So yesterday morning, we were driving and Garrison said one of his trucks was about to eat him. I said no, it won't hurt you, mommy will protect you. Garrison's response was "no, that is Jesus' job." Ahhhhh and that is the reassurance I needed yesterday. To know that I"m teaching him values that will last a life time and that my teachings of Jesus are seeping in his ever expanding brain. It was a really cool parenting moment and I'm so proud of my little guy!